Got a Bad Job Reference Blame Yourself

Got a Bad Job Reference Blame YourselfGot a Bad Job Reference?Got a Bad Job Reference Blame YourselfIn the courtroom, you NEVER ask a witness a question unless you already know the answer. Every lawyer from Atticus Finch to Denny Crane has taught us that. And the same principle holds true for your job references NEVER list anyone as a reference unless you know theyll speak highly of you.I read a newsletter recently that included a question from a woman whod been given a bad reference, and, as a result, did not get the job. She was especially ticked because the hiring manager would not tell zu sich which former employer had badmouthed her (thats a pretty typical policy, BTW.) In the reply, executive coach Joan Lloyd rightly stated that it was the womans own responsibility to figure out who the naysayer was and revise her reference list accordingly. Taking that one step further, I would add that the bad reference was the womans own fault because she obviously failed to check her own re ferences before she gave them out.OK, I confess Ive done the same thing. We probably all have. But we also know the risks you run when you assume that anyone you list as a reference will talk about you in glowing terms.I know it can be awkward to contact an old boss or colleague to ask for a favor. If you really cant face doing it yourself, there are fee-based services that will check your references for you.But there are at least three powerful reasons to just do it yourself1. Its the polite thing to do.Its simply not cool to submit someones personenname and contact information to another party without their knowledge and consent. If theres time, make your request by email to avoid putting the person on the spot which brings me to my next point2. It gives them a chance to say NO.There are all sorts of reasons a person might NOT want to be a reference for you (which may or may not have anything to do with you). When asking someone to be your reference, its important that you give t hem an easy way out. If you just ask point-blank, Can I use you as a reference?, theyll probably feel obliged to say yes, even if they want to say no. To be safe, always include a line such asIf you wouldnt feel comfortable providing a positive reference, please feel free to decline. I know a lot of employers frown on giving out references these days, so I completely understand if you cant do it.That way, they can save face by saying, I wish I could, but its against company policy. The last thing you need is to have someone agree to provide a reference, only to damn you with faint praise.3. It allows you to coach them on what to say.Once you have an enthusiastic yes from your reference, go ahead and let them know what youd like them to share (or not share) with your prospective employers. Youre actually doing them a favor by providing suggestions, since they might find it tough to come up with specific compliments off the cuff. Dont write a script, but give them some ideas by using such statements asIm applying for ___ jobs, so Id appreciate if you could address my ___ qualifications more than my ___ skills.It would be great if you could mention my success on the ___ team. Remember that time we were up against that crazy deadline with no budget?They seem really interested in my ___ background, so if you could mention how thats one of my biggest strengths, it would definitely help my case.I also highly recommend sending a copy of your current resume and cover letter to all your references so they can see exactly what youre saying about yourself. It will help refresh their memories of what you did for them and give them ideas of other nice things to say about you.On a related note, if youre asking your references for an online recommendation on LinkedIn, help them with some reference material, such as this one from JibberJobber.com.On another related note, dont put References Available upon Request on your resume. Of course youll provide references if they ask y ou dont have to waste valuable resume space spelling it out.Bottom line Pre-screening your references is the best way to avoid the surprise stab in the back. When it comes to bad references, theres no cure, only prevention.UPDATE 10/08 Heresa link withsome suggestions for bad-reference damage control Have you had employment references who really helped or hurt your job search efforts?Add your thoughts or questions to the Comments box and well post a reply

Why Youre Unhappy at Work and How to Feel Better - The Muse

Why Yure Unhappy at Work and How to Feel Better - The MuseWhy Youre Unhappy at Work and How to Feel Better Ever notice how nine out of 10 people run cold when the subject turns to how someones job is going. People who hate what they do struggle to respond without anger and contempt. Reporting to a horrible boss or being forced to do boring and mundane work all day, every day, are among the chief complaints. While we can all agree that these are valid issues, I think theres also something to be said for causing your own dissatisfaction at work.Before you X out of this piece and go back to being miserable, hear me out.For years youve been taught that if a job makes you unhappy, you should quit, because its obviously your boss fault or your co-workers or your moms. But, what if you actually have more control over your happiness at work than you think? Id be willing to bet that you know at least one person who is a serial job hopper. He gets a job, finds an issue with said job, and befor e his work email is completely set up, hes already logged onto LinkedIn trying to find a new gig.Yes, there are many valid reasons for wanting to leave a company- no one should be forced to stick it out in a hostile work environment- but, if your main reasons always seem to be centered on the fact that your co-workers just dont get you or that youre bored (again) and not sure how to stay motivated, its time to take a long, hard look at the person in the mirror and be honest about the root cause of your unhappiness you. Its not an easy task to see beyond your dissatisfaction to lay bare the ways in which youre contributing to the madness, but its undoubtedly helpful. Here are three ways you may be sabotaging your own happiness on the job- and, because I want you to be happy, solutions for how to nip these practices in the bud.1. Youre Not Setting the Right GoalsGoals are what motivate us in every area of our lives. Whether you want to lose weight, learn to cook, or get a promotion, t he first step is to get really clear on what you want to accomplish and why. The key here though is that its not enough to just set goals for the sake of doing so. In order to be successful, you have to make sure youre setting the right goals.Just because your colleague wants to become the supervisor of the department or your best friend wants to take on a huge client at her company, it doesnt mean that these need to be your aspirations as well. If youre chasing something you dont genuinely want in the first place, or worse, if you have nothing to work toward at all, its only a matter of time before you lose your motivation and it becomes an exercise in will power and positive self-talk to make it into the office every day. The first question to ask yourself is Where do I want to be in the next one to five years, professionally? If this one doesnt get anything turning in your head, instead ask yourself what makes you feel fulfilled professionally? Once you have that list, you can st art plotting out your path on how youll get from where you are now to a job that hits as many bullets on that list as possible (a.k.a., a five-year plan).2. Youre Not Building Your Following at WorkGrowing your followers isnt something that should be relegated to social media. When I think back to the best work environments Ive been in over the years, its clear they were on teams where I felt untersttzunged- not only by my boss, but also by my colleagues. Having a group of people who encourage you to be your best, who care about your well-being, and who provide a good laugh every now and then goes a long way in making your job satisfying.Many people complain about working in an unfriendly environment, but never stop to think about how theyre contributing to this dynamic. In order to develop a community of allies at work, you need to be likable and a team player. Youve got to show up as someone who is worthy of support and collaboration by also being supportive and collaborative with others. It wont be something that comes without a little bit of work, but anyone can tell you that working around people you actually like (and who like you back) is one of the most crucial aspects of work happiness. Why not volunteer to help your colleague run point on the big project due next month when she asks for any takers? Or challenge yourself to go to lunch with a different co-worker at least once a month to get to know something more than how he signs off on emails.3. Youre Not Being Your Authentic SelfAbove all else, one of the major ways people sabotage their own happiness at work is by not keeping it real with themselves. Any time youre doing, saying, or acting in a way that isnt aligned with the real you, youll naturally feel uncomfortable. The fix may seem easy- just be yourself- but in a lot of cases, its not that simple to carry out.Certain workplaces encourage you to communicate, act, and dress a certain way so that you fit in and avoid rocking the carefully craft ed boat. It can be daunting to think about breaking away from the position quo. And yet, think about what you stand to lose if you dont. Most people who are unhappy at work immediately see their perspectives shift as soon as they start to bring their real selves to the office each day. Theres always a way to infuse who you really are into everything you do at work- whether its by not being afraid to give your honest opinion, standing up for yourself when needed, or even just decorating your desk- without being unprofessional. Think about who you are outside the office and who you are when youre there. Of course you cant always use the same language or dress the same in both places, but who you are- at your core- shouldnt be that different.Work is a fact of life for most people. This is why the goal should be to make it as enjoyable as possible. After all, we spend more time sitting at our desks than we do anywhere else, and it would be disappointing if you spent all that time unhapp y. I know its easier said than done (especially when youre buried under feelings of aggression and resentment), but if you can take a moment to stop complaining and instead consider that it may just be younot your positionthat needs to change, you could be well on your way to liking your job. Photo of man looking frustrated courtesy of Frisco/Getty Images.

Career Advice From the Worlds Most Popular Superheroes

Career Advice From the Worlds Most Popular SuperheroesCareer Advice From the Worlds Most Popular SuperheroesIt seems as if everywhere we turn today theaters, television and even online streaming services are chalk full of super-powered characters. Capes, laser vision, super speed a, d spandex, oh my While you may be tempted to dismiss these glimpses into extraordinary lives of incredible individuals as fantasy best left to the kiddos, we think the genre may have something to offer career minded folks grounded in the real world, as well. What can superheroes teach us about our jobs, careers and mora? As it turns out, quite a bitSuperman The Lifelong IdealistAny discussion of supersized heroes of course should begin with the iconic blue and red caped, broad shouldered man of steel. Superman may have been born on the since destroyed exotic planet of Krypton, but his earthly upbringing was as humble as they get. Maybe it was his own good nature or perhaps the upbringing afforded by Jonat han and Martha Kent in Smallville, U.S.A., but Superman certainly knows how to give back and find happiness in serving those who have the least.Despite lightning fast speed, laser vision, super strength and that whole flight thing, Superman tends to keep things cool in his daily life, preferring the quiet and unassuming alter ego of Clark Kent. Clarks day job as a reporter with the Daily Planet, fighting for justice by exposing corruption, might seem like a bit of a let down considering all the potentially glamorous or lucrative potential gigs his skill set could have landed him.The lesson to be learned from Supermans story is one familiar to those looking for careers in criminal justice, public service or any other field that gives back to those in need. Regardless of your abilities or upbringing, choose a career that calls to your passions and desires. Serving others, even if it doesnt land you in the limelight, can be just as fulfilling as a mansion in the country or your name sp lashed in papers. And hey, who knows, maybe youll end up with your own crystal-like Fortress of Solitude and being handed the keys to the city for all of your good work.Batman Do What Your Love and Never Work a Day in Your LifeWhen everyone lined up and voted in High School for the rolle most likely to do good by others, the uber-wealthy, consummate playboy Bruce Wayne probably wasnt at the top of many lists. With an established bank account, courtesy of his deceased parents and Wayne Enterprises continuing to be managed by business minded CEOs, relaxing on his laurels probably looked okay to young Bruce-ey.Instead of living it up in the lap of luxury, Bruce took that bankroll and a passion for tech and set up shop in the sparse surroundings of an underground cave. With no distractions and a hefty dose of computer software, Bruce Wayne got down to doing what he loved fighting crime as the Batman. Sure he may be a bit broody with methods that border on questionable, but when Jim Gord on needs help to rid Gotham of the newest super villain, everyone knows just who you call.What Bruce Wayne cum Batman teaches us as job seekers is that a passion and calling for your work are bound to make you happier than piles of money. If youre lucky enough to land a job that pays well, dont just sit back on your laurels. Hard work lets Bruce Wayne play hard too, with plenty of cool toys to zoom about Gotham on and never a lack of a date or party to attend. Sure, you may run into a joker or two along the path to fame, fortune, and fulfillment, but what fun would life be if you took the easy route?Spiderman Never Give Up on Your Road to SuccessStarting out in the world straight out of high school can be tough. Add in the death of your beloved uncle and getting a dose of superpowers courtesy of a bite from a radioactive spider and the hurdles to trying to financially support yourself in the big city can seem a bit daunting.Peter Parker aka Spiderman never let any of that stop him i n pursuit of both financial security and honoring the legacy of good ole Uncle Ben while fighting crime and protecting the innocent. From the painstaking process of learning how to use his new found web action, to gearing up with a serious physical training regimen, its going to take some hard work and dedication to meet your long term goals.Speaking of dedication, Peter Parker was rejected numerous times from his pursuits to be a photographer for the Daily Bugle. Through persistence, follow up and innovative thinking, Peter was finally able to use his negotiating skills to snag a long term position snapping pics that would end up on the front page. Bonus points for Peter choosing a job that catered to his newfound ability to get the perfect shot thanks to his ability to scale tall buildings and sling from rooftop to rooftop quickly to the scene of New York Citys breaking news.The Flash Make the Best Out of AdversityWhile the Flash may not be the most well-known of our super hero jo b inspirations, his back story is certainly one from which we could all learn a lesson or two. Already a successful forensic scientist, Barry Gordon may have had just about the worst timing in history being jolted by lightning coincidentally after a lab accident doused his body in an elaborate chemical concoction. The accident could have been deadly, but instead, it graced Barry with super speed, a funktelefon trait but one that was initially difficult to adapt to.Out on the job market, potential career seekers can learn much from the Flashs ability to make lemonade out of a tragic accident. After trial, error, and persistence, mastering the new found skills allowed Barry to not only perform his day job with more speed but also allowed him to expand his role into a crime fighting superhero, replete with cape and cowl. It may not have been immediately obvious how the newly found zoom would benefit the career he was passionate about, but with some trial and error Flash was able to ove rcome his hurdles and turn a negative accident into some seriously positive outcomes.Iron Man A Little Bit of Confidence Goes a Long WayWeve all been at that point in our job hunting adventures when nothing seems to be going your way. How you handle when youre feeling less than awesome can make the difference between getting ahead or staying stagnant. When it comes to superheroes that hold their heads up high, Tony kampfstark aka Iron Man certainly has confidence in spades.While he was a successful businessman before hooking himself up with an internal nuclear reactor to power a super powered suit, Tony Starks fake it until you make it personality, backed up with a healthy dose of dedication and perseverance, skyrocketed him to personal and crime fighting stardom.You may not have Iron Mans bank roll, but approaching the career market with a confident attitude will never serve you wrong. Be sure to stay polite and professional but if you know your stuff in your field, dont be afraid to share your knowledge and experiences. This could make the difference in a close call between candidates, tipping the scale well into your favor.